The TOP 3 Bad Bosses: how to effectively deal with them

https://youtu.be/QBI7q7MfEZs

Bad bosses. People don’t leave companies they leave their bosses - it’s a popular, over-used, yet majorly misunderstood reality.

From the very outset - I implore you to put blame aside (well, not completely - I’ll cover that in another blog!).

Yeah - I just feel for my boss - STOP IT - STOP UNDERMINING YOURSELF!

Sure maybe your boss was shuffled into their job with little to no notice and training and they’re doing the best they know, for now. If a 17 year strong career in HR has taught me one thing - it’s that this, is a bottomless pit of possible rationale for your horrible boss: starting with childhood trauma and ending with an anti-social behaviour diagnosis that better explains their intrinsic desire to make you look small, maintain top rank and generally make your life a living hell. 

Don’t get me wrong - this stuff, the stuff that keeps many up at night - makes for one heck of a nightmare and frankly it’s worth more exploration. 

If you want to know more and get out from under this - then my #1 selling eBook: Slaying Office Politics (found here), rather than this blog - will likely better achieve your desired goals.

For now though - let’s talk about the all too-common question (or quiet meandering and yet incessant question) 

Should you QUIT and if not WHAT CAN YOU DO about your horrible boss? (I mean really, what are the best steps to take?!)

1. Your bad boss is all talk and no leadership

This type of boss might put forward loose ideas, very rarely successfully knows what it takes (resources and budget) to successfully execute on them and eagerly blames anyone close by. Alternatively, you could find the initiative you took to speak to other leaders and seek out a mentor within the organisation is met with disdain and immediate retribution from your boss. And. Trust me. I get it.

I once spoke to another member of management regarding mentorship. My boss at the time told me that if I ever did that again, I’d need to find myself another job. That I’d made my boss look incompetent and I had no place speaking to those who were in her direct area of influence. When I ran ideas past her, she’d laugh at them - only to later take these to senior leaders, as her own. My story isn’t unique. If you’re reading this and going through it right now - then seriously give my eBook, some consideration (PLUS - there’s a discount applied if you get it via this link) . If however, it’s more about curiosity, then - I’d strongly suggest you look to broaden your scope of opportunity.

Broadening YOUR scope of opportunity: What do I mean by this? 

• Put simply you want to expand your network (past your immediate team)
• Take the opportunity to help out and volunteer on other projects; and 
• Socialise wherever you can with those in other groups or departments. 

In a working-from-home world, this could be as simple as joining a non compulsory company wide online meeting and taking note of someone who communicated in an inspiring way and reaching out to them, offline, to thank them for their time and ask a follow-up question.

Alongside these actions - I’d also suggest you:

1. refresh your CV
2. update your role responsibilities
   1. Tip: this is something I’d recommend to all, irrespective of where you find yourself along your career journey; and 
3. start looking out in the market. 

Know your worth: what are others getting paid?!

Tip: major recruitment firms publish industry-relevant job specific salary stats on this stuff each year - grab a free copy! Google: “Annual Salary Guide” and you’ll be well on your way!

Scan the varied responsibilities being asked of in other advertised roles 

Tip: this is also a super useful exercise for those looking to create a solid case for a pay rise

Embrace the unknown and apply for a few jobs. I often say to clients, interview skills are one of the best currencies (alongside Networking which I cover off a lot more of in my eBook (here’s a free copy of my eBook Relationships module covering off on just this!) are one of the best currencies there are for job security. 

Why trust me? 

Well with over 17 years in the field as a HR practitioner, alongside a few board appointments and a Leadership role with one of the world’s largest companies - I’ve seen and know a thing or two.

So, if your bad boss is an abusive leader with tentacles of insecurity increasingly wrapped around you (Tip: the more talented you are, the bigger the threat you pose - the more likely they are to put a ‘target on your back’), it’s probably time to start looking out the door. 

There is NO JUSTIFICATION for being undermined, overlooked and trodden on 

So, to avoid boring you with the Neuroscience of it all - put simply, the longer you report into someone who lacks leadership skill and any intent on improving this; the more likely you are to experience a huge hit to your confidence; to your desire to even want to look elsewhere and this will have an effect of your life not only in but also outside of the workplace. If you’re here right now - know your worth and if you’re struggling to get your head around this (I get it, as clients [you can check out testimonies here] often approach me for coaching - around this exact thing), then think of your loved ones and the guilt you feel towards not being your best self to them. It’s not healthy: you and they deserve more!

Don’t let your boss dictate the circumstances of your employment

1. This week: Update your resume and establish/nurture relationships at work, outside of your boss - send that, let’s catch up email or belated thank you note for their support
2. Next week: Research the job market - take note of salaries and advertised job responsibilities
3. The 3rd week: Start applying for roles - detach from the end goal of getting a call back, just apply (it’s a really strong first solid step to saying I am freaking worth more - because, you, my love, are!)

2. Your bad boss lacks respect

While we all deserve respect (yep, even that horrible boss of yours!), now more than ever - we’re in dire need of it. We’re working with varied restrictions, constant change and known uncertainty at what tomorrow will bring. Thanks to this COVID climate we’re less grounded than ever before and resultantly feel less centered and self-assured.

If you work for a horrible boss who has little regard for your personal situation, professional contribution and devalues your efforts and constantly finds fault with your work - then it’s likely things aren’t going to change. Well at least from the perspective of their toxic behaviour. You - hun, however can. You can take small yet measurable steps to protect yourself. 

Actionable steps - you can take today!

Some of these steps might include:

• Write down what brings you joy and find a way to seek the essence out of this throughout your working week. Maybe you like hikes and travel. Make a personal pact to go for a short walk around different areas of your or your neighbouring suburb and take intentional efforts to plan out weekends that incorporate the outdoors. For those in lock down (depending on the severity of it) - jump on FaceBook, where you’ll find an almost endless offer of FREE (yep, free!) tours through different parts of Europe, Asia or the Middle East). If you can go outside to exercise, don the sneakers and venture to a new National Park - make a day of it and take photos, remind yourself of the small things that keep on giving (blossoming flowers, small ducklings on a lake etc), irrespective of how messed up your working world gets.
• Strolling the internet and finding that special piece to purchase (for instance: a gorgeous mug, delightful bookmark or beautiful candle) you can incorporate into your working life. Sure sitting on Zoom, Google Meet, BlueJeans, Microsoft Teams or Skype all day - can’t be fun for anyone - BUT sitting there with a lovely candle, or warm cuppa - can certainly help make it all a little more manageable.

And. Working with my clients - experience tells me - it’s these small things - that can make a big difference to your work when facing toxic workplace practices.

Now - outside of the warm and fuzzies above (there’s admittedly a fair bit of complex psychology behind each of them), there’s the practicality of building a fortress of options in the event that you’re fired, humiliated in a room or decide (most don’t see it as a choice - a decision) to quit. 

Tangible Options to consider

Some of the most effective fortress of options, I work through with clients, include:

• Keeping a journal of what is said, when and who the witnesses are - in times of lacking respect
  • What’s key here, is that it’s preferably on your own laptop, your own server (storage cloud) and not buried somewhere in the plethora of company emails (I cover off on this more, in this Tik Tok video)
• Confidentially reach out to HR: let them know your concerns (tread cautiously here...it’s key you can trust HR will uphold your confidentiality - if concerned - put your request of privacy in writing). This way if anything happens you can create a strong legal case that points to a clear pattern of concerning behaviours by your boss. I cover this in much more detail - via my “Know your rights” - webinars and role playing sessions. Here’s a glimpse into it: Toxic Patterns of Behaviour
• Confide in someone, you trust, outside of the business (a friend, career strategist/coach, union representative or family member). It’s not so much about them having a solution (admittedly the more separated they are from your organisation the more likely it is that they can offer up different perspectives), but rather - providing you with a non-judgmental ear to talk to. The practice of sharing what’s weighing down your mind - can be in itself very cathartic. I would preface this by saying, that there is however a need to consider:
  • how much you share
  • what you share
  • the stories you tell yourself; and 
  • what positive feedback loop you may be creating or maintaining through the practice of constantly sharing the same story with little to no different information or attached action (put simply, over time - it’s not healthy)
• AND...Small bonus note - if someone is confiding in you for this very reason, watch this useful lil’ 1 minute clip: What your stressed friend wants 

If you’ve taken these steps and are on the verge of quitting, carefully consider your options; make the most out of your present situation by demonstrating your dedication to the role, registering for any additional (free!) company training that may be on offer - reaching out (stealthily) to understand if opportunities exist (with more respectful folks) elsewhere in the business (if this is just about your boss) and quietly start applying for positions that will help move your career forward. 

Tip: check out Glassdoor reviews on companies you’re most interested in applying for roles with.

3. Your boss is putting pause on your career growth

Perhaps your boss promised you a promotion and you’re yet to get it or demoted you (in the name of a re-organisation) or said they’d introduce you to others in the leadership body and never did. The challenge with this type of boss is two-fold:

1. They likely share a lot in common with the horrible boss in scenario 1: Your boss is all talk and no leadership; or
2. You can’t quite be sure how much of your career is held back by them and how much of it might not be their fault.

The reality - you may not be ready to hear

There are days when I’d love to get on the bandwagon of saying to an impacted client, their boss is terrible and definitely holding them back. The reality is though, my career coaching is built on integrity and so, often, well, it’s more of 2) with a sprinkling of 1) than anything else. Good news...it’s easy to find out.

Start drafting up an ideal plan - where you’d see yourself in 6 to 12 months and what support you need in order to get there. Frozen budgets and no organic growth opportunity don’t come anywhere close to real reasons for being held back. 

And I say this - from the bench of a HR leader who has sat in countless 1:1 meetings with Managers who have argued just that.

Here’s the deal - if you’re awesome, screw waiting for others to notice! YOU, should be able to measure some of your awesomeness - this is the kinda stuff that rolls up to making your organisation look awesome and well if they look awesome, thanks to your efforts then they’re making more money, attracting more good stuff in and therefore increasing their profits and resultantly more able to pay you that freaking pay rise and give you that new shiny title. 

AND IF THESE BOXES ARE TICKED AND THE PROMOTION ISN’T...START LOOKING ELSEWHERE 

They don’t see top talent when it’s right in front of them - know your worth and start job hunting!

Grab the steering wheel and own your career outcomes!

So - drive your own career forward, you will (on every day of the week!) be the most vested in it. 

Start documenting your small wins. These lil’ morsels of awesomeness are going to form the structure of your promotion negotiation. With a personal 98% hit rate on successful promotion placings - as the outcome of this advice in my career coaching sessions  - I’d say - you’d do well to take head.

Take the opportunity to repurpose your efforts here and create a list of these to put in your CV (when the day comes for you to update it - trust me, I promise you - this list will save you hours and loads of headaches). 

**And - for those high achievers reading this, take it one step further. 

• Get yourself a spreadsheet - create 3-5 key pillars of your role (must-haves) and individually copy these wins in under each relevant section - this way - when it comes to addressing selection criteria or crafting a unique resume - much of the hard work is done in a simple, copy/paste exercise into dot points to personalise your CV to a specific role!
• PS. If you want more information on this, then feel free to head on over to check out my Resume Review services here.

Binge eating this guidance up but wanting a little more personalised guidance?

If you’ve read through this list of bad bosses and what steps you can possibly take, jotted down some notes but ultimately want a confidential expert to help craft your message or role play through your scenario - then look no further, my bespoke ROLE PLAY WITH FEEDBACK service is going to measurably change your working life!

With this - I wish you a lovely and freaking empowered week ahead. I’ve been where you are and only wished for advice just like this. If you want to know more about my journey, published works or exactly how I can help you, then head on over to: louisewithemployease.com